February 2012
492 posts
You have amazing blowjob lips
– My cousin talking about my lips (via hooker-on-a-church-corner)
I pissed off some teen age kid at a table I was...
Me: I'm sorry, I'll be back with the right plate
Him: whatever
*as I turn to walk away*
Him: *talking to his friends* he's probably a homo, he's too distraught.
*i turn back to the table*
Me: you know, you shouldn't talk about the dude who's about to serve your food, right beside him. Also, learn the definition of homo, it's a root word that means, "man" in which yes I am a man, more of one than you will ever dream to be. So if you're intentions were referring to me being a homoSEXUAL as in MAN-sexual, which I am, then use a correct form of it. Now, sit there little boy, while this gay man goes to get your food for you.
*i leave and come back*
Me: here's your AIDs stuffed burrito you ordered.
His friends tipped me $20
January 2012
442 posts
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Lana Del Rey's album is FUCKING AMAZING.
Your argument is invalid. Period.
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10 Things Lana Del Rey Looks Like
laurencesmb:
an American Apparel brand sex doll
a lightly flambéed mannequin
a heavily sedated My Super Sweet Sixteen girl
a Real Housewife Halloween costume
Frankenstein’s ‘Fiona Apple’
the winner of American Idol if it took place entirely in Portland
Tori Amos’ afterbirth
Florence and the Machine but just the Machine part
hair extensions that grew into a person
an escapee from Madame...
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WORK
PRAYING, that Friendly’s calls me and tells me that I don’t have to go in. I really, really don’t want to deal with people today. I’m like sitting by my phone waiting for it to ring. The snow is coming down hard.. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
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Had the most amazing day today with some of the best people I know, my friends. Had lunch with the boyfriend, spent the day in Portsmouth, bought a new pair of Toms, now finishing off today by re- touching my red highlights!
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Look at me leavin' my tumblr logged on my account...