February 2012
492 posts
“You have amazing blowjob lips”
– My cousin talking about my lips (via hooker-on-a-church-corner)
Feb 1st
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Feb 1st
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Feb 1st
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I pissed off some teen age kid at a table I was...
Me: I'm sorry, I'll be back with the right plate
Him: whatever
*as I turn to walk away*
Him: *talking to his friends* he's probably a homo, he's too distraught.
*i turn back to the table*
Me: you know, you shouldn't talk about the dude who's about to serve your food, right beside him. Also, learn the definition of homo, it's a root word that means, "man" in which yes I am a man, more of one than you will ever dream to be. So if you're intentions were referring to me being a homoSEXUAL as in MAN-sexual, which I am, then use a correct form of it. Now, sit there little boy, while this gay man goes to get your food for you.
*i leave and come back*
Me: here's your AIDs stuffed burrito you ordered.
His friends tipped me $20
Feb 1st
164,144 notes
January 2012
442 posts
4 tags
Lana Del Rey's album is FUCKING AMAZING.
Your argument is invalid. Period.
Jan 31st
1 note
2 tags
Jan 31st
63 notes
10 Things Lana Del Rey Looks Like
laurencesmb: an American Apparel brand sex doll a lightly flambéed mannequin a heavily sedated My Super Sweet Sixteen girl a Real Housewife Halloween costume Frankenstein’s ‘Fiona Apple’ the winner of American Idol if it took place entirely in Portland Tori Amos’ afterbirth Florence and the Machine but just the Machine part hair extensions that grew into a person an escapee from Madame...
Jan 31st
7 notes
1 tag
Jan 31st
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1 tag
Jan 31st
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Jan 31st
10 notes
8 tags
WORK
PRAYING, that Friendly’s calls me and tells me that I don’t have to go in. I really, really don’t want to deal with people today. I’m like sitting by my phone waiting for it to ring. The snow is coming down hard.. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. 
Jan 31st
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Jan 31st
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Jan 31st
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Jan 31st
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Jan 31st
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Jan 31st
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Jan 31st
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Jan 30th
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1 tag
Jan 30th
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Jan 30th
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Jan 30th
1,160 notes
1 tag
Had the most amazing day today with some of the best people I know, my friends. Had lunch with the boyfriend, spent the day in Portsmouth, bought a new pair of Toms, now finishing off today by re- touching my red highlights!
Jan 30th
Jan 30th
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Jan 30th
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10 tags
Jan 30th
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Jan 30th
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Jan 30th
144,853 notes
3 tags
Jan 30th
3,668 notes
Look at me leavin' my tumblr logged on my account...
Jan 30th
Jan 30th
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Jan 30th
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